I realize the truth of this statement more and more as I pursue my dream of being a professional watercolour painter. From the very first time I asked myself, “Am I good enough to call myself an artist?”, fear has been the greatest obstacle to my art.
Children don’t have this problem, and I guess I became an adult when I started wondering if I was “good enough”. Kids pour themselves confidently into their creations. There’s joyous abandon, and somewhere along the way, we lose that. Many people give up on creativity at that point, thinking, “I’m not creative/I don’t have what it takes/I’m not good enough.”
Lately I’ve been burdened with the cost of making art; buying frames, entering shows, shipping and marketing. It’s all an investment into paintings that may not ever sell, and I wonder, Is it worth it? Fear of failure is built on these questions.
I love that quote, “I just want to make beautiful things, even if nobody cares.” There is beauty at the bottom of the ocean, and gemstones in the darkest cave. No one sees it, but it pleases the Creator. There is no fear in painting if my goal is to delight myself, to revel in the process, to celebrate the drive for creativity that is never, ever silent. When I remember that every brushstroke can feed my soul, isn’t that the most valuable payoff of all?