Painting for the Emotionally Exhausted

Earlier this summer I took a walk into the field across from my house and sat down in the grass to paint. I was thinking about the immersive experience of plein air painting, and how much I wanted to feel connected to my surroundings. The harebells in bloom covered the field in a mist of the most beautiful blue, and as I sat and painted, I plucked clover, yarrow and paintbrush (yes, it's a plant!) to dip in my palette and make lovely marks both inspired by and created by the plant life around me. It was pretty wonderful, even though my ankles itched like crazy after hiking through some wild rosebushes that irritated old mosquito bites from last week's camping trip.

Painting needs to feel wonderful for me right now. I don't have much energy left for anything else. The long months of restrictions and the uncertainty of a changing world have me, like many others, feeling emotionally spent. My artistic goal for this summer is as simple as I can make it; I'm painting for my heart.

That means I'm not going to paint ambitiously; seeking to grow my skills at a faster pace or level up in measurable ways.

I'm not going to paint productively; creating a body of work that I can show or sell. While painting for my heart means I might find myself making wonderful paintings that I love, I get to focus on the PROCESS; (creating a heart-soothing experience) and my outcome is not measured by paintings but by whether I am finding rest and recharging my spirit.

I'm not going to paint critically or analytically. Whether a painting is "good" or "bad" is not a criteria I'm going to measure in this season of rest. Current paintings will be set aside to be evaluated when I have more to give to my art.

I started painting because I loved the process. It made me happy to create something even a little bit pretty, and it still does. Periodically I lose sight of that joy; it's not the first time I've found myself exhausted and needing to find that first love again, and it won't be the last.

I am so thankful for a community of artists who understand the value of caring for your spirit and how important it is not to let a desire for achievement rob you of joy.

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