When making the art you've dreamed seems impossible...
One of my very favourite things to do is walk on the trails in my back yard. From my house, my dog Ari and I can set out, climbing briskly uphill for ten minutes and emerging into a network of trails that cross through a pasture, back into the forest and continue for miles. We've encountered deer and elk on these trails, seen evidence of bears and most of the time, walk alone, keyed to the changes through the seasons that make the hike a journey of discovery.
I find myself organizing my thoughts, often speaking out loud into the crisp Canadian air. And I always bring a camera or sketchbook so I can catch shots of what inspires my sense of wonder on any given day. There is always something to see, smell, hear and even taste!
An Impenetrable Wilderness
It's funny because, when we bought this property on the edge of the northern British Columbia forest, Wade and I tried to walk the boundaries of our land and found ourselves hopelessly tangled in the mass of willows, briars and aspen that cover the steep slopes of Briar Ridge. The discomfort from hair-thin wild rose thorns embedded in denim can not be over-emphasized.
There was no easy way to walk in the forest and we felt a little disconsolate that so much of our acreage was undevelopable. We even considered moving; buying flat land and building there instead. Our bush-covered hills just seemed like an impossibility for us to use in any way.
Something Changed
And so it's a blessing and a delight that, twenty years later, our backyard forest is our favourite place to be. We've slowly developed trails that traverse the forested acres and are a place of peaceful refuge for me. I love it when a friend makes time to walk there with me to see with surprise how much beauty is found in my backyard for those willing to climb a few hills!
We host parties around the fire pit that overlooks our sledding hill, lit with flickering lights so we can enjoy the outdoors even on the shortest days of the year, making hot chocolate in a cauldron over the fire and cozying up around the blaze as the kids race down the hill on sleds and snowboards. This year my son Wesley got some inspiration of his own, building trails to challenge his dirt bike, "enduro" style, adding another mile to the paths that crisscross the ridge.
The hills that seemed so useless have become our favourite place to be. If we just had a cabin up there with a verandah for a bluegrass band, it would be perfection! (I'm assuming if we build it, they will come, right?)
Application for Artists
I was thinking about these trails as I thought about my art journey, because there are some parallels that really stand out.
Like our briar-tangled woods, there was a time when my future as an artist seemed unnavigable and impossible to penetrate. Surely it would be easier to succeed and grow as an artist if the obstacles were taken away; if I experienced the "flat land" of a more artist-friendly region, if I had furthered my art education, if I didn't have to juggle parenting and art, if I could paint full-time instead of in the margins.
Finding a path that allowed me to make the art I'd always dreamed seemed impossible. Maybe I could fight my way into the thicket, but I expected that I'd never get very far, and likely I'd always be pricked on all sides by my lack of resources, hemmed in and limited.
But you know that's not true of what I've been able to accomplish as an artist. I've built a career that has allowed me to realize one dream after another; teaching art and making a full time income, traveling the world and being paid to do so, creating community and speaking passionately about things I really care about, setting goal after goal and then seeing them happen.
And, most of all, having so much fun making art that thrills my heart and feels like freedom. Freedom to be myself. Freedom to play and have fun with it. Freedom to be childishly delighted in the simple beauties of the world and invite others to take in the world with the same delight and wonder.
And I can't help but wonder if maybe the art journey is always meant to be a lot like my backyard; an impenetrable thicket that you somehow get to learn to navigate and make your own.
Maybe it's not supposed to have paths until you blaze them yourself, and you build them to take you where you want to spend your time. Think about it; if you go where the path is already marked, you are going where someone else has been before. You are restricted to the choices others have made. You might not see how much more lies outside of the streetlights that seem to make direction so clear.
What if you are the pathmaker?
No one's art journey thrives when we are busy doing what we're told. You want more from your art than simply to copy what others are doing and yet the view ahead seems so dense and impenetrable. You are meant to make art that reflects who you are, but yet you have been waiting for someone to validate what that is. You hate the art you're making that feels so stifled and rigid but you can't seem to find a way to make it your own.
Imagine with me that you get to be the pathfinder, blazing a trail that will lead you to the art your heart truly wants to make. What kind of process creates the results you need to find your artistic voice and freedom?
I'm going to give you some homework today. Take five minutes and think about your own personal briar patch. What are the obstacles that make you think, "If only..."
If only I had xxx , I could feel good about my art.
If only my paintings looked like xxx , I would feel confident in my work.
If only I had xxx, I could feel like I was on the right track.
I feel like I will never have xxx to make the art I want to make.
I have to warn you, this will be a hard list to write. I have shed tears when my "if only's" reveal how close to my heart my fears and struggles are. This is how I know how much they matter, and how necessary it is to find a way through.
End goal: I see you painting and as you're painting, you feel a growing excitement. You're thinking, "I can't believe how good this looks! And how good this feels! I'm really pretty good at this!" And you are!